SUICIDE – What does that word create for you – the vision of a loved one; emotions that are so deep they explode within like a volcano erupting; all of the questions you have been suppressing knowing there are no answers – Why? What if —–?; or is this a subject that is “just not talked about”? For me, it invokes most of the above, now that it is part of my life experience.
Through this series I will be sharing my personal journey, which began on June 10, 2015 at 3 AM with the hysterical phone call from our daughter saying “he’s gone!”. Writing this will be opening the doors of my heart to expressing in words the most painful thing I’ve ever had to go through. You won’t be able to see the box of tissues by my side and the number of times I have to stop, cry, and regain my composure. So “why” put myself through this? My prayer is that it will prevent another family from having to go through their own “forever journey after suicide”. If I don’t talk about it and turn it into something positive, it will eventually destroy me. With God’s help I won’t allow that to happen.
It’s important that you, as the reader, be aware that I will be very graphic and explicit in the following writings. I want anyone who has ever considered or is considering suicide to know exactly what happens to those who are left behind. That realization may be the one deterrent which stops them. I understand the mental health umbrella covers so many factors and some of those involve a lack of reality. However, I believe that my story will reach those it’s meant to help.
In the next posting I will write about our grandson, Alex. It’s important to me, and all who have lost loved ones, to share who they were and their challenges. Following that will be the actual details of those nightmare days when we were forced to say goodbye to Alex as we hung on to each other for strength and comfort.